As you know, I’m terribly keen on amusement. Especially so when there’s a killer (hee-hee!; a little Halloween humor there?) back story. Should you be strolling through the streets of London today, consider stopping by Hoxton Street Monster Supplies to pick up a brilliantly designed little surprise for the trick-or-treaters or a clever all hallow’s eve hostess gift (Not in London? Everything’s available on-line too!).
Established in 1818 (or so I’m told), they are a “purveyor of quality goods for monsters of every kind”. But that’s not all. Head toward the back of the shop, and you’ll find something equally special; the Ministry of Stories, a volunteer organization dedicated to the creation of stories by a new storytelling generation. Here, they provide a free space, workshops and one-to-one mentoring for young writers. The services are provided by volunteers: local writers, artists and teachers, all donating their time and talent. Now, that’s not so scary after all, is it? (As always, click to shop!)
Night Terrors, £8.00. Vanquishes all dreams of future happiness and Rainbow Coloured Flying Ponies. Larger doses will induce visions of French Teachers and Orthodontists. Contains sweets and “Night Terrors” by Eoin Colfer, a specially commissioned short story suitable for ages 9+ and exclusive to Hoxton Street Monster Supplies.
The Heebie-Jeebies, £8.00. Induces an immediate, tangible and most marvellous sensation of the Heebie-Jeebies, quickly relieving all cases of Well-Being, Joy, Warmth and General Happiness. An agreeable substitute to the Collywobbles; may contain traces of mild peril. Contains boiled sweets and “The Heebie-Jeebies” by David Nicholls, a specially commissioned short story exclusive to Hoxton Street Monster Supplies.
Creeping Dread, £8.00. A perspicacious yet plausible remedy that prevents all sense of relaxation. Acts gently and promptly upon the Mind and Emotions. Likely to induce visions of Ghouls, Bogeymen, and things that go BUMP! in the night. Contains sweets and “Creeping Dread” by Charlie Higson, a specially commissioned short story suitable for ages 12+ and exclusive to Hoxton Street Monster Supplies.
A Vague Sense of Unease, £8.00. Effectively destroys all feelings of ease, creating a rising yet uncertain sense of disquiet. Invaluable for general uses in the home. Guaranteed perfectly pure and genuine. Contains boiled sweets and “A Vague Sense of Unease” by Laura Dockrill, a specially commissioned poem exclusive to Hoxton Street Monster Supplies and suitable for readers 7+.
Cubed Ear Wax, £5.00. Our earwax is harvested from humans fed on a strict diet of Tinned Fear, which is marvellously effective in stimulating the Ceruminous Gland. Made the traditional way, in copper pans above a gas flame, this is some of the finest earwax available anywhere.
Cubed Ear Wax (detail)
Fang Floss, £3.00. Our marvellously strong Fang Floss is invaluable in cleaning where traditional sticks and brushes can’t reach, removing all common forms of fang-matter, including: brains, gore, bones, viscera, entrails, seaweed, toffee, and much more. Ideal for the 21st Century monster who believes chomping through flesh and bone shouldn’t have to put a crimp on post-mauling socialising. This spool can be carried easily in a pocket or a pouch, leaving both hands free to floss.